A Woman's Guide To The 1. Best (And 5 Worst!) James Bond Girls. Spectre, the new James Bond film, is finally out and to mixed reviews. What better time to reflect on the best and worst Bond girls the franchise has ever seen?
Best Ever Bond SongBond has changed over the years from a serial seducer of women to a more progressive, if sexually more boring, spy who you wouldn’t be entirely surprised to find out was questioning his sexuality. As Bond has changed, so have the women. But the best Bond women — sometimes villains, sometimes victims, sometimes both — are gorgeous in a swimming suit, tough but vulnerable, and very smart. The worst are gorgeous in a swimming suit, which is not nothing! Here’s a completely arbitrary list of one woman’s favorite and least favorite Bond girls. Feel free to add yours or take issue with my assessment in the comments. Worst: Dr. Christmas Jones. The Film: The World Is Not Enough (1. Played By: Denise Richards. Why?: “Christmas comes only once a year.”I’m a fan of Richards, whose cinematic achievements include the role of White She Devil in Undercover Brother, the most important film of 2. Her assets are ample, and there is something charming about her acting limitations. But wow is this bad. Richards plays a brilliant nuclear scientist who wears very little clothing and is named Christmas Jones for the sole reason that the writers wanted to make the joke above. Even for Bond puns, this one’s a croaker. And unfortunately Richards doesn’t hold her own in this very important role. You can watch the worst Christmas puns here. Weakest: Stacey Sutton. The Film: A View To A Kill (1. ![]() Played By: Tanya Roberts. Why?: Critics hated this movie. It was more product placement than plot, and Roger Moore was simply too old to play the part. But it had a lot going for it — great song, Christopher Walken as the villain, the amazing Grace Jones doing her thing. But wow was Roberts a weak Bond girl. She said recently that she believed the movie had cursed her from getting subsequent roles. In fact, it may just have been her acting that limited her future prospects. Most Lackluster Character: Solitaire. The Film: Live And Let Die (1. Played By: Jane Seymour. Why?: Seymour is a beautiful woman. Her character was kind of meh and unmemorable. Least Present: Paris Carver. The Film: Tomorrow Never Dies (1. Six actors have played James Bond in the offical film series. But who was the best? Read our tributes to all six Bonds here. Back to image. Find the best high-yield bond funds, which often hold "junk" bonds with lower credit ratings than investment-grade, and pay higher yields. Played By: Teri Hatcher. Why?: Hatcher reportedly only took the part to fulfill her husband’s desire to be married to a Bond girl. But even so, her inability to embrace her character was notable. She was also pregnant during filming, so maybe a case of morning sickness kept her from really throwing herself into the subtle and complex character that Bond girls are known for. Most Disappointing: Giacinta “Jinx” Johnson. The Film: Die Another Day (2. Played By: Halle Berry. Why?: No snag. Berry is a gorgeous woman. And her homage to Ursula Andress is great. She played the Bond girl role right after winning an Oscar, making her easily one of the most high- profile Bond girls in history. Which is why her actual role was disappointing. The entire movie was weak, and while her orange bikini is one for the ages, it did a better job of acting than she did. Berry’s character didn’t actually contribute much to the movie’s plot, and she didn’t really seem convincingly interested in Bond or vice versa. OK, now let’s move on to the best Bond girls.#1. Lucia Sciarra. The Film: Spectre (2. Played By: Monica Bellucci. Why?: OK, so maybe she won’t deserve to be on this list, but Bellucci is an intriguing choice for Bond girl. She has a powerful screen presence, and at age 5. Bond girl woman yet. She’s so sexy that she might even reinvigorate Bond’s lagging libido.#1. ![]() Mary Goodnight. The Film: The Man With The Golden Gun (1. Played By: Britt Ekland. Best Ever Bond Actor![]() Why?: I have such a strong dislike for the ditzy, pining Bond girl. The one exception is Ekland, who embraces the role and makes it sympathetic and more complex than most others.#1. Tiffany Case. The Film: Diamonds Are Forever (1. Played By: Jill St. John. Why?: St. John plays the rival of Plenty O’Toole for Bond’s affections. She wins, in no small part thanks to O’Toole ending up underwater in a pool. Kind of ditzy, but more naive, and very funny for a Bond girl.#1. Andrea Anders/Octopussy. The Films: The Man With The Golden Gun (1. Octopussy (1. 98. Played By: Maud Adams. Why?: Such a good Bond girl, Adams came back for a second round. Her role as Miss Anders is oddly compelling, playing a woman who is in a bad situation and both scared and desperate to get out of it. She is calm and determined, even if she ends up dead. In Octopussy she is less compelling, beginning as a villain (but not much of one) before coming to the good side.#1. Lupe Lamora. The Film: License to Kill (1. Played By: Talisa Soto. Why?: On the strength of her kiss with Bond alone.#1. Pussy Galore. The Film: Goldfinger (1. Played By: Honor Blackmon. Why?: Everything: the name, the fashion, the ridiculous career (leader of a flying circus), the villainy, the humor, and that she is an alluring sex object and five years older than Connery.#9: Jill Masterson. The Film: Goldfinger (1. Played By: Shirley Eaton. Why?: Yes, this movie was swimming in good Bond girls. Intelligent and kind, she’s first seen helping Goldfinger cheat at card games. After she betrays him and ends up in bed with Bond, she’s killed in most dramatic fashion (see above!).#8: May Day. The Film: A View To A Kill (1. Played By: Grace Jones. Why?: Everyone hates this film, but I kind of love it because of Jones — one of the most compelling performers around. Even though the movie didn’t do much with her, it did enough. A vicious villain, she is one of the few women convincingly cast as physically dangerous. Her sexual confidence oozes everywhere and is impossible to ignore. She’s tremendously underrated and if you missed this recent New York Times profile, be sure to read it. Also this NSFW hula- hoop performance of “Slave To The Rhythm.”#7: Wai Lin. The Film: Tomorrow Never Dies (1. Played By: Michelle Yeoh. Why?: She was easily the best thing about this movie and completely held her own against Bond. Not as a Bond girl, per se, but as an action star in her own right.#6: Anya Amasova (Agent Triple X)The Film: The Spy Who Loved Me (1. Played By: Barbara Bach. Why?: I always thought Bach was the perfect Bond girl for a movie whose theme song was “Nobody Does It Better,” sung by Carly Simon. Amasova is a KGB agent who is extremely tough and fearless. And looks great with a gun.#5: Dominetta “Domino” Vitali. The Film: Thunderball (1. Played By: Claudine Auger. Why?: She’s the mistress of the villain but has an immediate connection with Bond when he rescues her in a freak underwater accident. There are so many bathing suits! And they’re all fantastic. Also dramatic rescues. Auger’s Domino is better than Kim Basinger’s later version, but they’re both pretty good.#4: Tracy Bond. The Film: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1. Played By: Diana Rigg. Why?: The only woman to marry Bond, and the only Bond woman for George Lazenby. Unlike most Bond girls who just served to advance the plot, Rigg exuded cool in her own right in a way that very few other Bond girls have.#3: Vesper Lynd. The Film: Casino Royale (2. Played By: Eva Green. Why?: Nearly the platonic ideal of a Bond girl. She was unbelievably sexy and also managed to cultivate a real air of mystery around her character. She was a major reason why the franchise came roaring back.#2: Fiona Volpe. The Film: Thunderball (1. Played By: Luciana Paluzzi. Why?: She’s a secondary villain in the movie and so interesting. She also belittles Bond in such a hot way. Right before taking him captive, she says: “But of course, I forgot your ego, Mr. Bond. James Bond, the one where he has to make love to a woman, and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents, and turns to the side of right and virtue…but not this one!”Also, her betrayal and death are pretty epic.#1: Honey Ryder. The Film: Dr. No (1. Played By: Ursula Andress. Why?: Mostly the bathing suit, but there is something about Andress that is enchanting even with more clothing. Her speaking and singing parts were dubbed in, but the role she embodied is iconic — a beautiful woman, somewhat liberated from sexual mores, needing the aid of Bond. She added the mystery and gobsmacking beauty that stick with us to this day. Best James Bond - Best of Bond. It's the question that’s triggered dedate ever since Sean Connery first hung up his Walter PPK – just who is the greatest Bond? The Scottish actor owned the role from the moment he first uttered the words "Bond, James Bond" and has remained a firm favourite ever since. George Lazenby only lasted one film, but that movie’s reputation has grown in the intervening years. Roger Moore worked wonders with a single raised eyebrow and a seemingly endless supply of witty one- liners. Timothy Dalton was a serious Bond who some say was ahead of his time. Pierce Brosnan was combined smart sophistication with a killer instinct, and Daniel Craig has re- invented the role for a whole new generation. So come on people – which Bond is best? Sean Connery (1. 96. The first man to play James Bond on film, Scotsman Sean Connery didn't quite follow Ian Fleming's literary creation to the letter, but he nonetheless brought the character to life with an instantly iconic portrayal in 1. Dr. No. A former Mr Universe contestant, Connery was no slouch in the physical stakes, but he brought with it an unflappable cool and a debonair charm that meant he was just as comfortable busting heads as he was wooing girls. His six (official) movies set the bar high for his 0. Bond. George Lazenby (1. After Sean Connery had turned in his Walther PPK, former model George Lazenby was hired to slip into 0. Rather short- sightedly, the Australian unknown only committed to a single film, but On Her Majesty's Secret Service was a fine showcase for his strengths, namely several brutal fight sequences and his heartbreaking romantic scenes with Bond's wife, played by Diana Rigg. A true one- off, Lazenby soon made way for a returning Connery, but he'd already made his mark on the Bond legacy with a single film. Roger Moore (1. 97. Times were a- changing in the 7. Bond had to change too. Roger Moore – who had already established his spy credentials in TV series The Saint – picked up the baton, eventually shepherding Bond into an era where comedy was just as important as action. Dry and quick- witted, Moore's 0. Bond purists will claim he made the character a caricature, but kids of the 7. He's got Alan Partridge's vote anyway. Timothy Dalton (1. Roger Moore's antics took 0. Ian Fleming's initial take on the character: enter Timothy Dalton to take Bond back to basics. A more adult take on the role, Dalton's James Bond played hard, fast and angry: his second film, Licence To Kill, was the first Bond movie to receive a 1. Ice cool under pressure but burning red hot under the surface, Timothy Dalton came the closest to fulfilling Fleming's original vision of Bond; had he been allowed to make more than just two films, who knows the heights he could have reached? Pierce Brosnan (1. Whether or not he's the best Bond is up to you, but Pierce Brosnan was the equivalent of a 'Best Of Bond' compilation, combining the physicality of Sean Connery, the comic timing of Roger Moore and the intensity of Timothy Dalton into one irresistible package. Long pursued for the role before he eventually got the gig for Golden. Eye, Brosnan proved he was worth the wait: slick, stylish and dangerous, the fifth Bond did more than any other to drag the "sexist, misogynist dinosaur" kicking and screaming into the modern world. Pierce Brosnan is arguably the reason Bond remains relevant today. Daniel Craig (2. 00. When the time came to reboot Bond yet again, Daniel Craig was the most unlikely candidate on the Eon books. Big, blonde and softly spoken, he was dubbed "James Bland" before he'd even earned his licence to kill, but come the closing credits of Casino Royale, those same critics were silently eating their words. Craig's 0. 07 is a mountain of a man, but with his muscular physique comes a quiet dignity and a bruised id. Perhaps he was an unconventional choice, but it's impossible to imagine anyone else in Hollywood owning the role like he does right now. This is the big one - the battle of the Bonds. And it really went down to the wire, with just 1. Predictably Sean Connery and Daniel Craig went head- to- head for the top spot, but perhaps more surprisingly, the role’s originator defeated the current 0. Connery crowned the best Bond ever. Connery officially played the role a total of six times (we’re not counting non- canon never Say Never Again) and during that time he pretty much created what we now know as the modern- day action star. As comfortable busting heads as he was wooing women, Connery was, is, and probably always will be the definitive James Bond.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
April 2019
Categories |